One year ago right now in this moment Emmanuel was driving me to the Birth Center running red lights with me panting in the passenger seat. Emma was safe asleep in her bed, and had no idea that little brother was about to change all of our lives.
It's amazing how far things can change in the space of a year. The house was brand new then. Now it's complete with bite marks and crayon on the walls. Emma still had the fat in her cheeks like babies do a year ago. Now she's "pretty" instead of "cute". When did that happen? Ben went from rat baby to bald baby to crazy curl baby. And these are just looks I'm talking about. The real measure is what happened inside of all of us over the space of one year.
I took things day by day since Ben's birth. I really couldn't handle more than that unless it was dinner, which I would plan out for 3 days. And now, 365 days later, one day at a time, I've become a different person. I was just telling an old friend - "when Emma was born, I would put her to bed, tell Emmanuel I was going to HEB, get in my car, blast the music and sob all the way to HEB. Then I would put on my poker face, spend $100, get in the car again, cry all the way home, clean myself up, and unload the groceries". It was during this time that I was "breaking myself in" to motherhood. Some describe this change that takes place in a woman as "your life is over". I say, "your life is never the same". In a good way. A hard way, but hard is good because it makes you better.
Ben being 1 in a couple of hours marks a major milestone for me as a mom. And it took very few tears to get here. Emma broke me, Ben trained me. I made it to 1 with kid number 2! It's kind of downhill from here - soon bottles will be gone with morning naps. Soon Ben will be using small sentences. And with that Emma will be learning her letters and making jokes.
And together, day by day, we'll all just keep doing the best that we can. I guess the important part is the "together".
